The Hawk: Part One Read online

  Lynne didn’t bring Sam’s hankie, or his hat, scarf, and gloves, into work. It would have aroused questions, which she already was facing. No one had seen her husband in six weeks; where was Eric, and why had he been away so long?

  No one knew the exact timing of his departure, but by the end of February, enough weeks had passed that his absence was noticeable. Lynne had run out of excuses, and decided to let rumors swirl. If people thought her marriage was in trouble, they were only pondering the tip of the iceberg.

  Perhaps it was the truth; her marriage was in serious jeopardy, in that there wasn’t much of it with only one partner present. As March began, Lynne drove home from work, Renee in the seat beside her. They had the same shifts for the next few weeks, and Lynne would ferry them to work, then home, then back to work, then home, then…. What was her life about if it was only to be spent shuttling a good friend, although their closeness had started to abate. There was nothing for them to discuss, other than work, for Renee wouldn’t talk about Sam, and Lynne had nothing to say about Eric. They rambled about trivial details, but the essence of their previous conversations had centered on silly stories and tender moments that the woman could share without betraying their husbands. Now all of that was avoided, leaving a gaping hole that Lynne had never noticed with Renee.

  Not that she disliked her, she loved her, as if Renee was her older sister. Renee talked about her family, when the silences grew overwhelming, but then those people were only ghosts, like Lynne’s husband. Then stillness returned to the car’s interior. Lynne would reach the Aherns’ house, Renee would give a half-smile, then step from the vehicle. Sometimes, if the weather wasn’t terrible, Lynne would see Sam waiting in the open front door. Usually she caught him peering through the blinds; he was probably relieved that Lynne hadn’t made his wife vanish into thin air.

  Lynne was nearly to Renee’s street, stopped at a light, when she remembered Sam’s outerwear. “Oh jeez, I forgot again,” she exclaimed.

  “Forgot what?” Renee said softly.

  “Sam’s stuff. I keep meaning to stop at the house before dropping you off. He’ll never get it back at this rate.”

  Maybe he would prefer to not have those items returned, Lynne thought, tapping her fingers against the steering wheel. She stared at the light, then at Renee. “What?” Lynne said.

  “He misses that hat. And the scarf too. He could care less about the hankie, he’s got a dozen of them, but every now and then he mentions that hat, and the gloves, all of it.”

  But he doesn’t ask you to collect them, Lynne thought to herself. “Why does he miss them?” she asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

  “Says they were the softest and warmest he’d ever owned. I asked him, because he keeps going on about it, and he, well, he….”

  “He what?” Lynne peeked at the light, still red. Then she gazed at Renee. “He what?”

  “He doesn’t wanna believe it, I know he doesn’t. But I’ll catch him staring at where the paintings should go, he misses them. And he misses Eric, and while I know he thinks we’re crazy, I think he’s starting to wonder about the possibility of it. I mean, Eric’s been gone for….” Renee bit her lip, then gazed at the light. “It’s green.”

  Lynne stared too, then drove ahead. “He’s been gone for so long I’m starting to forget what he looks like.”

  She reached Renee’s street, parking in front of the house. The Aherns’ car wasn’t in the driveway, but Lynne didn’t kill her engine. “Well, maybe tomorrow I’ll remember to stop at home first. Weather’s still gonna be cool for another month.”

  “You wanna come inside?” Renee asked.

  Lynne shook her head. “No, Sam’ll probably show up and….”

  Renee gripped Lynne’s hand. “I did forget what he sounded like, while he was gone. I felt so awful, because here we were, married, and while pictures of him were everywhere, his voice had just slipped from my head. He doesn’t sound like his brothers, his voice is deeper, and the way he talks is just, well, different. When he got home, all I could do was visit him at the VA hospital, he was in a wheelchair still, but I’d sit across from him, hold his hands, and listen to him speak. He had a lot to say, not about his injury, but other things, and the sound of his voice, oh Lynne….”

  Both women wiped tears from their cheeks. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” Renee reached into her purse, then retrieved two tissues. She gave one to Lynne, and both blew their noses.

  Lynne inhaled, then smiled. “No, I needed to hear that. I have to….” She sighed. “I have to keep hoping. It’s just that sometimes I can’t imagine him being home, did you feel that way?”

  “Yes I did. Friends of our family were getting killed, and every time my mom or one of my siblings mentioned someone, I mean, not that they wanted to hurt me, but it happened. We couldn’t hide from it, I couldn’t. I didn’t care that he couldn’t, you know.” She wore a strange smile. “That didn’t matter to me at all. He thought it mattered, but I could’ve cared less. He was home, he was alive. I still feel that way, although lately….” She sighed. “Lately I wanna slap him again.”

  “Again?”

  Renee giggled. “When he came home, he told me if I wanted to seek an annulment, he wouldn’t argue. I have no idea what my parents would’ve done, or even if it was possible, I mean, we had been married for nearly two years by then, but he didn’t want to impose his…limitations on me.” She clucked. “I got so mad at him that I hit him, right there in the hospital. Then I stormed out, didn’t go back for two days. Oh, I was so cross with that man!”

  Renee’s eyes glowed nearly white, and Lynne chuckled. “What happened after two days?”

  “Well, I’d told my mother what he’d said, and while she was upset that he’d mentioned a separation, she calmed me down. Then, the morning I did go back, well, I went back because, because….”

  Renee dabbed at her eyes. “I woke up, and couldn’t hear his voice in my head. I mean it Lynne, if I could’ve done more than slapped him, I wanted to beat the, well, the snot outta him. And I could’ve too, he was partially paralyzed then, I mean….”

  Lynne had never asked, nor had Renee revealed, the extent of Sam’s initial injuries. “How long did it take him to walk again?”

  “Months. You look at him now, you’d never know how bad he’d been. But I truly didn’t care if he spent the rest of his life in a chair, that we wouldn’t have a baby, none of that mattered, because he’d come home.” Renee smiled, then grasped Lynne’s hands. “I had no idea how much alike we all are, you and me, Samuel and Eric. Who’d have guessed?” She squeezed Lynne’s hands with force. “Last night I prayed for you, for you both. I pray for you every night, sometimes more than once a day, if I’m home. I don’t know what’s gonna happen Lynne, but Sam came back to me. As the months went by, I’d been wondering, I mean, he had to be there a year, and after I realized I wasn’t pregnant, well, time dragged. At six months, I thought, okay, halfway done. He was only there eight, no, nine months.” She shook her head. “Time goes by so quickly, well, it does now, or it did. Since Eric’s been gone, I feel like I’m back, waiting for Sam. But he did come home Lynne. And maybe we can’t have a child, but he’s fine, he really is. And,” she grinned, “he does want his scarf, hat, and gloves back. Just bring them into work tomorrow and….”

  Lynne nodded. “I’ll leave them in the car, hopefully we won’t forget them.”

  “I’ll tell him tonight, he won’t let me forget.”

  Lynne smiled. “I’m glad, I mean, that he wants them back.”

  “He does.” Renee patted Lynne’s cheek. “He wants to believe us, believe it or not, but unless he sees it happen….”

  A vehicle honked from behind them as Sam pulled into the driveway. Renee got out of Lynne’s car, waved to her husband, then glanced back to Lynne. “Remember, I’m praying for you, both of you. See you tomorrow.”

  Lynne had a weak smile, as Renee met her husband on their driveway. Sam di
dn’t look in Lynne’s direction, but he did wave at her. Lynne waved back, then took a deep breath, putting the car into gear, then heading away from their street.

  The next morning Lynne woke late, and in her haste to leave, she forgot about Sam’s outerwear. Renee giggled on their drive to work, that Sam had been looking forward to having those items returned. “Now he’ll have to wait another day.”

  “Oh no. They’re sitting in a bag on the sofa, I should’ve put them in the kitchen. We’re making a stop on the way home Renee. Then I won’t have to worry about them anymore.”

  Or look at them, Lynne thought. But she was glad for Sam’s enthusiasm for their return. It was a topic she and Renee discussed when they met during a lull at work, then again as Lynne made the detour on the way home. She parked in the outer driveway, the day sunny, but cool. “I’ll be right back,” she said, getting out of her car.

  “I’ll be right here,” Renee smiled.

  Lynne shut her door, then walked to the front of the property. The only improvement left was to make the garage flush with the wall, so that Eric could just pull right into the garage without having to park outside the wall. Lynne let herself in the gate, then paused. It wouldn’t just be for Eric, but for her too. For over six weeks she had lived alone, discovering slight alterations she would like made to their home. Perhaps she should write them down, give Eric a list, when he came back. Not if, she decided. Sam had returned to Renee, and Eric wouldn’t leave Lynne in a lurch.

  She unlocked the kitchen door, but didn’t close it behind her, for the house wasn’t any warmer than the outside temperature. Spring was still weeks away, although a few daffodils were starting to poke through the ground. They would bloom first, then the tulips, but not until April; would she still be living alone then?

  The bag waited on the couch, right where she had left it last night. She tutted herself, then smiled, her eyes drawn to something shining just past the patio. The replaced windowpane often caught her attention, for the glass was clearer than the rest, although unless you knew to look for it, it went unnoticed. Now that the days were longer and brighter, Lynne always saw it, or she saw better through that one pane. Approaching the French door, she stared at the patio through that new sheet of glass. She touched it, warm from where the sun hit it. She didn’t think about what she had considered weeks before, when it was broken and dangerous. She kept her eyes on the gravel, something beckoning her to take a closer look.

  Had shards of glass landed that far away from the door? She hadn’t been outside without shoes since Eric left, but in another month, they would be walking back and forth, or she would. But she wanted to think it would be them together; he had to come home, he wouldn’t stay away forever. She opened the door, stepped outside, then slowly walked to where the gravel still glittered in the late afternoon sun. Then she squatted, gingerly running her hands along the small stones. She smiled; it was only how the light reflected upon the jagged edges. Then she looked up, hearing Renee calling for her.

  “Be right there,” Lynne hollered. She stood, then took a long look at the garden. In another month, everything would be in bloom, and then she spotted it, the first daffodil of the season. Bright yellow on the outside, with a deep orange center aching to be admired. Lynne obliged, as Renee’s voice came closer. Lynne smiled. “I’m in the garden, come see.”

  Renee turned the corner, walking quickly. “What is it?”

  “The first daff of the year.” Lynne reached it, then again squatted. It was just open enough to discern the orange center, and this type was her favorite. As Renee came closer, Lynne cupped the flower in her left hand, maintaining her balance with her right. She inhaled deeply, the scent of earth and new growth a heady mixture. And something else, something vaguely….

  “Oh my God Lynne, look up!”

  As Renee spoke, Lynne released the flower, staring into the sky. A shriek, loud and menacing, made her blood run cold. She immediately stood, her legs wobbly, but she bolted to the back of the garden, where the hawk had touched down. “Eric, oh my God, Eric!”

  Renee was right on Lynne’s heels, but Lynne didn’t care. Her only thought was to the bird she had nearly missed, but Renee had been watching. Thank goodness for that, or Lynne would have still been gazing at the daffodil. She permitted those thoughts as she passed the studio, again calling for her husband. But the thicket was still, the only noise being Renee’s steps, which then halted right behind Lynne. “Eric? Where are you?”

  “Was it him, it looked like him, I mean, it didn’t look like any normal bird, or maybe….” Renee’s voice was a rushed whispered. “Maybe I should go, maybe he’s scared, maybe….”

  “Shhh!” Lynne’s heart pounded, then she gripped Renee’s hand. “I might need you to help me get him inside. But stay right here, until I call for you.” Lynne inhaled, then she fought tears. She could smell him; the odor as he altered was pungent, and nothing she had ever noted before. Before…. Suddenly that word wasn’t the bane of her existence. But where was he? “Eric, honey, I’m here, I’m just past the studio. Renee’s here too, but it’s all right, she saw you change, she knows. It’s okay Eric, she knows, and she cares.”

  Lynne waited a moment, hearing vague mumbles from the thicket. “Eric, honey, I love you, I’ve been waiting.” Lynne stood as close to the brush as she could get without damaging her uniform. Not that she cared about it, but the brambles were dense. Even if she wore trousers, she would still be scratched up, yet, he was in there, she could hear him. The sounds were muted, however, in part from the forest. And that he knew they weren’t alone.

  “Eric? Honey, oh goodness. I’m dressed for work, I can’t get in there.” She shook her head, then looked back at Renee. “Go inside, start a bath,” Lynne called. “And close the kitchen door, I left it open.”

  Renee nodded, then fled for the house. Lynne took a deep breath, then planted one foot into the thicket. “Eric, it’s just us now. Renee went to fill the tub. I’ll send her home, well, she can drive our car home. Eric, please, where are you?”

  The crunch of branches made her jump, then she stepped back, as something moved toward her. “Eric, honey? I’m right here, I’m right….”

  As Eric emerged, Lynne gasped. She had seen him in various states of alteration, and the speed of those transformations had always astounded her. But never before had he been gone for so long. His face was as she remembered, but his hair was littered with feathers. Then she struggled to stay on her feet, as his were still claws, although as he made his way out of the undergrowth, his legs started to lengthen. He wasn’t to his full height, and his chest was molting, as more feathers were ripped away by shrubs and low trees. She started to approach him, but he waved her off, shaking his head. “Go back….” he mumbled in raspy squawk. “Go away!”

  She nodded, tears falling down her face. He didn’t want her to witness the final stages, but what more was there for him to accomplish, unless he wasn’t sure he could finish the conversion. The last thing Lynne saw was Eric stumbling to the ground, his hands nearly completed, although still speckled by quills. As she ran toward the house, he moaned, the sickly sound resonating like a bird’s screech, as a man fought for control.

  Chapter 13