The Hawk: Part Four Page 19

  As November began, both Lynne and Renee started their periods. For Lynne, it was her first since the summer of 1962, and it came as a relief. Renee felt a similar ease, which for both was also a relatively new notion. They discussed it over coffee shared at the Snyders while Jane napped, Eric painted, and Sam counseled vets at the hospital. As the world inhaled a collective sigh of relief, two women who had previously lamented their cycles now wondered what this new train of thought indicated.

  Lynne and Eric were thrilled for the Aherns’ decision, which Renee expounded upon in Lynne’s kitchen; Sam had been put in touch with Catholic orphanage in a large city just ninety minutes north. The couple was hoping to travel there next weekend, once they had received notice from the sister in charge that all their paperwork had been approved. Eric and Lynne had provided a reference for the couple, so had both Fathers Riley and Markham. Even Pastor Jagucki had offered when Eric told him on Monday, for the news was too good to conceal. But it would be the opinions of two Catholic priests that the nuns at St. Joseph’s Home would revere most and once those women were satisfied with the Aherns’ credentials as prospective parents, then Sam and Renee would receive a phone call with a day and time. Really, Renee said, any day would be fine. It just seemed logical that a Saturday would be easiest. The children wouldn’t be in school, although the couple was hoping for a relatively young child, perhaps one just beginning kindergarten. The age of Fran’s son Johnny, Renee wistfully said.

  Lynne listened, often dabbing at her eyes, for the joy within her heart was so great. Cramps that came and went didn’t dampen her happiness for Renee; Lynne was very glad not to have conceived, but that had no bearing on what the Aherns were finally going to achieve. Eric had also seemed relieved, only in that all of last week’s drama had affected him too, and it was probably for the best to give their attempts at adding to their family more time. More time to Lynne now meant months; Jane had decided nursing here and there throughout the day didn’t impede her crawling abilities, and a mother was more than happy to nurture her daughter with that intimate bond. Better for another couple to take the plunge, especially one so long suffering. To Lynne, Renee looked older, or maybe they had all aged with last week’s revelations. To Lynne the world seemed different now, a previous innocence replaced by a thin veneer of cynicism. She tried to keep that at bay and when nursing her daughter, that skepticism was absent. But when attending to her usual tasks, Lynne couldn’t fight a wave of doubt. It wasn’t related to Eric, for which she was grateful. For the first time Lynne owned a deep pessimism about the world and bringing more offspring into it seemed irresponsible.

  Yet, what the Aherns were hoping to do wasn’t at all reckless; it was wholly necessary and not merely for the child who would benefit from loving, attentive parents. Renee’s bearing was so chipper that Lynne wished for Eric there in the kitchen, sketching what in Lynne’s eyes was an expectant mother. Renee seemed a good six or seven months along, which made Lynne chuckle inwardly. It might take another two or three months to finalize an adoption, or just that long for the couple to find the right son or daughter. While many youngsters resided at St. Joseph’s, the Aherns had specific wishes, which was their right. They wanted a child that had been potty trained, but wasn’t much past the age of five. Gender didn’t seem to matter, although in Renee’s tone, Lynne heard a desire for a daughter. Perhaps Sam wanted a son, Lynne had no idea. They preferred a youngster without any overt handicaps, which was also understandable, for Renee would continue working part time, and Sam wouldn’t be able to care for a disabled child on his own. His time at the VA hospital would also be curtailed, but the couple hadn’t concealed their need for Renee to maintain her role as the breadwinner, no matter how much their painting of the three hawks brought in at the end of the month. Eric had informed Stanford about that late addition to the available canvases and Stanford had been thrilled. But Lynne wasn’t sure how much was for his share of the commission or the reason for that painting’s inclusion.

  As Lynne poured more coffee, she observed her friend’s demeanor, which was that of a woman nearing the end of a lengthy ordeal, which Lynne understood fully well. After placing the mugs on the table, Lynne retook her seat, then she gripped Renee’s hand. Renee smiled widely, but tears dotted her cheeks. Then Renee laughed. “It’s been such a long road. And to be honest, sometimes I’m not sure we’re ever gonna get to the end.”

  Lynne nodded. “You will, I promise.”

  “Yeah, I suppose now there’s no going back. You probably felt that way this time last year.”

  Lynne chuckled. “Yes, I did.” As a cramp twisted in Lynne’s middle, a small shiver crawled up her spine. This time last year all she wanted was to have her baby, then another right away. Then Eric flew off, although he quickly returned, which led Lynne to this new life of faith, yet her hesitancy about having another child hadn’t been expected. At this time last year, Lynne was going to church, albeit with the Aherns, assuming Catholicism was her calling. Then she smiled at herself; maybe tomorrow she would wake, ruing her period, eager to put away her diaphragm for a good long while.

  As that thought settled, Jane whimpered. Renee was on her feet before Lynne could stand, but a mother felt her baby’s tears as Lynne’s breasts ached and not only from hormones stirred by her cycle. Lynne drank her coffee, then looked at the clock; it was nearly lunchtime. Better to give Jane something solid, then perhaps after lunch, mother and daughter would get comfortable on the sofa. And if Renee was still there, Lynne wouldn’t mind. That part of motherhood wasn’t something Renee would share in, but it was important to Lynne, and to Jane, whose cries had eased. Still Lynne discerned a need from her infant that only she could provide.

  Yet, as another cramp make a mother wince, no longer was Lynne’s body solely required for a baby’s nourishment. Lynne stood, took a deep breath, then opened the refrigerator. A small container held a portion of last night’s meatloaf, which would be Jane’s lunch as soon as Lynne mushed it into easily digestible pieces. Renee could fix the women’s sandwiches, but a baby’s meal would come first. Then a more relaxing snack, after all three females had taken their fill.

  Eric joined the women just as Renee was leaving. She asked if he wanted a sandwich, but he smiled, telling her he could make his own. Renee chuckled, then gave Lynne a kiss, but Jane was left undisturbed, still at her mother’s bosom. Eric walked Renee to the kitchen door, then returned to his family on the sofa. “Did you have a nice chat?” he asked his wife.

  Lynne nodded, then smiled. “They’re hoping to get to the orphanage next weekend if everything checks out.”

  Eric grinned, softly stroking his daughter’s head. “Well that would be fantastic. I wonder if they might have a child by Christmas.”

  Lynne giggled. “Maybe, but probably more like in the new year, although who knows?” She had a long sigh, which Eric didn’t miss. Then his belly rumbled, making her giggle. “You go get some lunch.”

  “That I will do.” He kissed his wife, then stood from the sofa, heading into the kitchen. Within minutes, he returned, two sandwiches on a plate and a glass of milk in his other hand. He sat on the couch, making Jane turn his way. She looked punch-drunk to him, then immediately she returned to Lynne’s breast. In a way, Eric was glad for this small break in their plans; Jane did seem to require this time with her mother. And Lynne was right to make sure their daughter’s needs were met. Yet, Eric didn’t want to put too many months between his offspring. He ate his lunch, watching his daughter snuggle against her mother’s chest. Jane wasn’t actually nursing; now it was more the bond between mommy and child. But it wasn’t only for an infant’s comfort. Lynne looked at peace there with the couple’s baby nestled close. Eric hadn’t missed the building anxiety in his wife’s eyes, as if Renee’s fears had been transferred to Lynne. Yet, Renee’s angst manifested in a different manner within Lynne. Eric wondered how much of it was due to his knowledge about Marek’s past, or last week’s political crisis, or…. Or w
as it related to what might occur next spring. Besides telling Stanford that the Aherns wanted to sell the painting of the three hawks, Eric had made a verbal agreement for his family to travel to New York in March, right after Jane turned a year old. Eric and Lynne had felt able to discuss it once the gloom of last week had lifted and to Eric’s surprise, Lynne seemed eager to make the arrangements. He didn’t think a possible departure was party to her hesitancy to try for another baby. Something else had changed her mind.

  He finished his lunch, then set the empty plate on the coffee table. He drained what remained of his milk, then gazed at his wife, who looked to be in another world. Part of it was fatigue; Jane had been up early, so had Lynne. But an unshakeable bliss rested on a mother’s face, which Eric had captured in a variety of paintings. Then a slight grimace slipped over Lynne’s countenance, which Eric knew was related to her period, for the frown was brief, then replaced by that glow of motherhood. Maybe he was being hasty, for Jane wasn’t even eight months old. He stared at her, eyes half closed, as contented as her mother. Maybe there was no hurry, although Eric wasn’t a young man. Still, Sam and Renee were just getting started, and Fran Canfield hadn’t been a young mother either. But Eric couldn’t help wishing that he and Lynne were on the same page again. Then he chided himself, for look at how long Renee had waited for Sam to get off the pot. Eric smiled, then he felt a brief chill. He’d said that phrase to Sam on that night the men nearly came to fisticuffs. At the time, Eric hadn’t given it a second thought, but now that he did ponder it, that was when Sam’s anger had abated. Yet, that man could be so stubborn, for it had taken another few weeks for Sam to truly get into gear with adopting a child with his wife. Eric hoped that Lynne wouldn’t vacillate for long, maybe she just wanted to make sure Jane’s babyhood was fully explored before they added another. It had taken them so long, there wasn’t any rush.

  Eric reached out, stroking his wife’s face. She nodded, her eyes half-closed, but now Jane’s were tightly shut. He smiled. “Shall I take her upstairs?”

  Lynne nodded. “She might need another nap, she was up so early.”

  “I might need a long rest too,” Eric said, scooping his daughter from her mother’s arms.

  “I think a quiet afternoon would be good for all of us,” Lynne replied.

  Eric smiled as his daughter stirred, then settled back into slumber. He carried her upstairs, placing her in the crib. As he closed her door, Lynne waited on the landing. “I’ve locked the house,” she said. “Let’s go lay down.”

  She squeezed his hand, then led him into their bedroom. She might have started her period, but parents required their privacy. There might not be any babies for a while, Eric allowed, but all good things in their own time.

  Chapter 80