Alvin's Farm Book 5: An Innate Sense of Recognition Read online

  In the morning, Liz woke to the sensation that she wasn’t alone. She took a breath, felt a constricting ache, then found her husband beside her, his bad arm lying loose along his body. Liz turned Max’s way, then started the conscious healing process, kissing his fingers that realized her touch. Within a few minutes the couple was making a teary, silent love.

  Others not waiting at the hospital also woke enmeshed in their lovers’ arms. Under that same roof, Emily and Carson’s intimacy wasn’t noted by anyone, although her parents were in the kitchen, making coffee.

  At Will’s, two couples drew on one of the most basic forms of remedial properties. Will and Eric hadn’t left the hospital until David regained consciousness, then together went to Will’s house where beers were had, followed by a round of tears. Only they and Andy had witnessed the carnage, what Eric couldn’t escape, what Will allowed. Vaguely they accepted that long ago Sam had stumbled across a moment much the same. The brothers embraced, got into their beds, finding partners awake. The men loved their women, then found restless sleep.

  Andy had waited for Sandra Mittingham; petite with dark hair cropped to her shoulders, she looked not at all David’s style, his boisterous manners and wild appearance a contrast to the demure, disheartened woman who was escorted by Tommie. He had been waiting downstairs, and Andy nodded; who else would lead David’s girlfriend this way?

  Tommie didn’t ask to see his namesake, but Andy brought both into the room. As David stirred, Tommie caught those unfocused gray eyes, then shook; the left side of David’s head was shorn where stitches had been necessary. As Tommie trembled, Andy led him out, Rachel staying near her parents. She didn’t have anyone to go home to.

  Andy and Tommie did, and as soon as they walked in their doors, their wives were in their arms, then into beds warmed by those waiting women. Love was made, more circumspect for the Smiths; they had lost a grandson. For the Schumachers, it was bittersweet. Another night on the job Andy could allow, but as his wife sobbed, he set that aside. Now with Jackson, it was personal.

  Once Tommie and Andy left, so did the rest of the cousins, David’s conscious state sending them home. It was a momentary status; David noted his uncle’s and parents’ relieved but shaken faces, also Rachel’s profanity-laced gratitude. Then David found Sandra’s green eyes, which he had dreamed of as Andy told him to stay with him. David hadn’t wanted to, preferring to imagine his girlfriend’s gentle hands along his body, just as they were as soon as Tommie let her go. Sandra was next to David in his bed, her tender words in his ears. That she loved him, and that he couldn’t leave her.

  From the back of the room, Jenny and Sam heard those admonishments as Sandra remained at David’s side, Rachel in a nearby chair. When David woke at seven, incoherent and agitated, Sandra wasn’t able to calm him, nor could family. He thrashed until a nurse injected a sedative into his IV, one he had tried to rip from his hand. It took less than a minute for a family and lover to watch a man reduced to little more than his dead cousin. That David fought even that medication wasn’t a surprise to his parents or sister. But Sandra discovered a man full of passion, also sorrow. It didn’t dissuade her, tying her to David even more.

  Rachel stepped out with David’s weeping girlfriend, leaving Sam and Jenny to absorb the doctor’s information. David needed rest. If they had to keep him unconscious all day they would. Other than his parents, no family would be admitted, only for that reason. He would be fine, as long as he didn’t try to remove his IV again.

  Deep breaths were taken as Sam and Jenny nodded. With exhaustion weighing heavily, they found their daughter and Sandra in the lobby. With Sam’s support, Jenny followed those younger women to the parking lot. That foursome headed to the farm, where unlike everyone else, their day was just ending.

  None of them slept for long, but Jenny was the last to rise. It was the smell of coffee, alongside babies’ gurgles. Jenny was met in bed by Chelsea, Will, and their children. “How’s David?” Jenny asked.

  “Still sleeping.” Chelsea sat beside her mother. “You need to get up?”

  Jenny inhaled as if nothing was amiss. “Not yet.”

  “Mom, there’s uh, well…”

  “What Will?”

  “Lots of people with no idea what to do next,” Chelsea said. “Dad’s over at Max and Liz’s, says she’s better.”

  “Hand me my phone,” Jenny said.

  Will gave it to her. Three texts waited, the first from Liz: I love you. I’m sorry.

  Jenny stared at those words, the last two unclear. What in the world did Liz have to be sorry about?

  Then she sighed. That Mitch had called David, and not the police. That her son was dead, but Jenny’s could have been. That this had occurred at all, but as Jenny felt last night, this was Jackson’s fault. Jackson Hooper and Bonnie’s money, but with one of those, Jenny had some recourse.

  The other texts were from Eric and Tommie. Only that they loved her, coming from different places in their heads. Eric’s probably from what he saw last night, Tommie’s from what Jenny had witnessed with Alvin, then with Sam.

  She cuddled her grandchildren, unable to hide her smile. These babies wouldn’t know Uncle Mitch, but Uncle David was still among them. “Listen, give me a minute. Then Chelse, cut me some pound cake. I’m gonna need it.”

  “You sure?” Will asked, taking Louise into his arms.

  She nodded. “If there was ever a time, this’s it.”

  That first day Jenny permitted herself a break. David was off limits, at least for several hours. Liz had awoken feeling alert enough to text. Jenny asked for some privacy, then called her, extending love and condolences. Liz broke down but it was measured, and Jenny heard Emily and Travis in the background. Then she heard Max. “Hey Jenny.”

  “Hey Max, oh honey!”

  “Listen, I just wanted to tell you thanks for letting Sam be here last night.” Max paused, then blew his nose. “I know you probably needed him but…”

  What did any of them need? Jenny needed that money out of their hands. She needed Jackson arrested, but that was Andy’s job. She wanted to get stoned, where this wouldn’t hurt so much, like her past, nipping at her heels. Her body also ached, but Jenny was going to relieve her mind, one day that everyone could use a good spliff.

  Maybe they could all get high, then she heard Max. “Jenny, you there?”

  “Yeah, Max. I love you. We’ll get through this.”

  As if she was watching him after his accident, his words ran thought her: There but for the grace of God go I. It could be Jenny and Sam’s son dead. Instead it was Max and Liz’s, but all part and parcel of the same.

  “Yeah, I suppose we will, one of these days. Hurts like a sonuvabitch right now though.”

  Slowly Jenny sat up, fighting tears. “Yeah it sure as hell does.”

  By noon, Sam had seen David, who was out like a light. By then Jenny wasn’t on her feet but her mind floated as she kissed Liz, then gripped Max’s bad hand. Jenny embraced Emily and Travis, then Jacob and Debbie. More hugs were reciprocated, tears as well. They were lost and found, dead and alive, how she had felt when learning of Will’s conception, what the older generations didn’t say but understood. When Jenny lost Alvin, at least she still had his baby.

  Then when Jenny might have lost Sam, they made a baby. Eric ushered Dana to the barn when she needed a toke. Jenny had a few hits early, then spent the rest of her morning nibbling on pound cake, chocolate and lemon. A few beers were had by those able to take them, but Tommie and Jacob drank endless cups of coffee in Jenny and Sam’s cozy kitchen. It was warm from the bodies that milled about, the house stuffed with people. It seemed the only place to go.

  Because of the timing, Max and Liz wanted the funeral soon, maybe on Wednesday. Kids going back to school was the reason, also a sense of urgency; set this behind them, let it be a closed chapter. None of Jenny’s children went to college anymore, but she was sure David would want to attend. Would he be strong enough in three day
s’ time?

  She didn’t say that either; for Max and Liz, closure was essential. Liz’s green eyes were dulled, but Jenny hadn’t missed the chocolate pound cake on that woman’s plate. Another slice had rested on Emily’s; many were taking one day to not feel as much as was waiting. It would be there tomorrow.

  Tomorrow Jenny would have coffee and toast. Maybe some cereal, or whatever Rachel decided to cook. Maybe one day past this, someone might feel like organizing a meal. That day kids ran to town for lunch, returning with fast food. Only Chelsea ate something nutritious, Marsh and Jenn alternating at her bosom. Smashing the last chocolate and lemon crumbs along the back of her fork, Jenny finished her pound cake, then stood, needing the bathroom. “Listen, this’s all fine and good for now, but if someone can figure out something for dinner…”

  “Don’t worry Mom, it’s taken care of,” Will said, standing near his wife.

  “You sure?”

  Rachel nodded. “Uncle Tommie said people have already been dropping off food.”

  “Andy’s mom’s getting stuff organized too.” Chelsea switched her daughter to her other breast. “We’ve got it under control.”

  The kids weren’t small anymore, were old enough to coordinate meals. They were old enough to get killed by a drug dealer, and Jenny’s legs went numb. Will steadied her, then passed her to Sam, who walked her to their room, closing the door behind them.

  Jenny took a nap. When she woke, the house was empty. “Sam?”

  He met her at the double doors. “Baby, how do you feel?”

  “Lousy. Where is everyone?”

  “At Tommie and Rae’s for dinner. I don’t know who’s there now, but after you laid down, most of them left.”

  She nodded as Sam led her to the sofa. “How’s David?”

  “Still sleeping. I talked to the doctor; he’s letting Rachel and Sandra see him.”

  “And the rest?”

  Sam relayed what had been decided; the funeral was scheduled for Wednesday. If David was well enough to attend, fine. Otherwise he would miss it.

  “He won’t miss it,” Jenny muttered.

  “No, but I’ll let him tell the doctor that.”

  She smiled, feeling the morning’s indulgences wearing thin. But she didn’t want any more pound cake, needed to be clear-headed. “So what happens now?”

  “Tommie and Jacob are probably making arrangements with Max and Liz, our kids were going to Chelse’s and…”

  “What about Tanner?”

  “He’s in Salem.”

  “Who took him?”

  “State of Oregon in an ambulance. He tried to kill himself.”

  Jenny nodded. “Who knows that?”

  “Most of the kids, probably not Mike or Janessa.”

  “Any word of Jackson?”

  Sam sighed, the initial forty-eight hours imperative to solving the crime. “They found his car south of Medford, just off I-5. No trace of him or the gun. Initial investigations show powder burns along the steering wheel, but that’s just between the sheriff and us.”

  “He’s probably in California by now.”

  “Maybe, but only if someone picked him up. Supposedly Fred hasn’t heard a thing. Andy said the deputy who questioned him thought Fred had no idea.”

  “So what happens now?”

  Sam kissed her, then stroked her face. “Now we go see our son, get ready to bury our nephew. Wait for the authorities to find Mitch’s killer. Then dissolve the trust.”

  She stared at him. “In that order?”

  “The last two are flexible. The first two pretty set.”

  Jenny nodded, then burrowed against his chest. “Is this real? Did this really happen?”

  What he would give to tell her no. “Yeah honey, it is.”

  She sniffled, then pulled back. “Well, okay. Help me get up. Let’s go see that boy of ours.”

  Contusions marred David’s face, new bandages having replaced those from when Jenny had seen him last. He woke in her arms, his father in a chair beside her. Rachel and Sandra sat on David’s left. At David’s feet stood the doctor with a stern gaze.

  “So young man, can I get your assurance that you’re not going to be messing with this set-up anymore? I’d hate to put you under for the rest of the day, but…”

  “No sir, I’ll behave.”

  Jenny stifled a giggle, seeing the first sign of joy in Rachel’s eyes. David hadn’t called anyone sir since he was little.

  “Well all right then. You suffered some pretty severe head injuries, as well as a concussion. It’s going to take time to get back on your feet again.”

  “When do you think he can be discharged?” Sam asked.

  “Tomorrow or on Tuesday, as long as he does what he’s told.”

  The doctor was a man in his sixties, a longtime Arkendale resident unused to this sort of mayhem, but he knew this family. Everyone knew the Cassel-Smith clan, usually a quiet group, but David’s presence here and Mitch’s in the morgue was telling.

  Sam followed the doctor out as Jenny’s son sank into her. Then David started to cry. “Mom, my God, oh my fucking God!”

  His language might be that of a man, but David wept harder. Then Sam returned with a face that spoke of compromise.

  “Well?” Jenny asked.

  “He said you need to be here another night, then resting at home. But…” Sam let a moment pass. “If you do everything they say, he’ll allow you to attend the funeral.”

  “When is it?” Rachel asked.

  “Wednesday morning,” Sam continued. “Max and Liz want it soon so everyone can get back to school.”

  “School? Fucking who cares about school?”

  “David…” Sandra’s voice was soft.

  As he looked at her, his parents and a sister noted a change. No longer were they his only concern. Now this woman was too.

  He sighed, then curled into Jenny. Sandra kept one hand on him. While she had diffused his anger, it was from his mother he sought absolution.

  Which was unnecessary, Jenny told him, after Rachel and Sandra went for a walk. “It wasn’t your fault David. My God, he could’ve killed you too.”

  “He nearly did.” He wiped his face. “Had that gun right at my head.”

  Jenny gasped as David continued. “The last thing I remember is he had it against my temple. Then he smiled, must’ve hit me after that.” David gingerly ran his hand over the largest bump, then tugged at the long mane on the other side of his head. “Gonna have to cut all this off I suppose. Not gonna be so wild-looking anymore.”

  “I’ll take that,” Sam said.

  David stared at them. “Who called Sandra?”

  “Andy did. Rachel thought of her,” Jenny said. “She’s nice, seems to like you.”

  “Well, if she sticks around after this, maybe I’ll keep her or maybe throw her back. If she can take all this shit…”

  “David, she said she loves you.”

  Sam’s earnest tone punctured his son’s cynicism.

  Jenny nodded as David began to weep. “My God, why? He’d just come home! He was here, safe.” Then he sighed. “Not safe enough, I guess.” David looked around the room, as if trying to find someone. “What about Tanner?”

  “Tanner’s in Salem at the state hospital,” Sam said.

  “What, he flip out?”

  “He tried to kill himself here, last night. Tanner’s in a pretty bad way. Mitch was just trying to help him.”

  Again a father balanced the absurd with the sublime. Three young men had been wounded last night, one mortally. Two had survived, but not without scars. David would sport marks along his face, but who knew what Tanner carried?

  “Jesus fucking Christ,” David muttered.

  “You kiss your girlfriend with that mouth?” Jenny asked.

  He stared at her. “No ma’am.”

  She smiled. “Well then put the brakes on it. The doctor might not think it’s conducive to a healing body.”

  He nodded, then lean
ed next to her again. Then David’s apologies streamed, not for what he hadn’t been able to stop last night, only the anguish he saw on their faces. His language went from coarse to that of a young man, clean, honest, and so pained.

  That night, Sandra stayed with David, but Jenny fell asleep beside her husband in their usual space. It felt different, as they were alone, Rachel staying at the Schumachers, the rest in their regular abodes, only Tanner not in his own bed. For Tanner, Jenny sighed, life would never be the same.

  It was the goddamned money! Then she smiled; could she kiss Sam with a potty mouth? Would he kiss her?

  No one would kiss Mitch again, and Jenny felt chilled. They had stopped by Max’s, but hadn’t gone to dinner at Tommie’s. Jenny felt out of place; David had kept his life, or maybe only had a tighter grip than Mitch. David had also found a woman who seemed to think the world of him, but in other residences grief hung like the ever-present clouds. That it had started to rain when Sam turned onto their road reinforced to Jenny she needed to go home. That and knowing Max and Liz weren’t at Tommie’s either.

  Jenny’s poor health was a reason to skip dinner, but she felt something else, beside the fact that her son was living, with his sense of humor intact. Maybe he would drop some of his rougher edges, but she didn’t expect him to fall into a heap. She hadn’t, not after being raped or when Alvin died.

  David was more her son, Jenny decided, even if he was a physical copy of his father. David was the only one to step into that apartment and come out all right. Mitch’s temper was too strong; from where it came, who knew? Not his parents, not any of the grandparents either. Maybe a byproduct of Iraq, maybe the times. And Tanner…

  Tanner was the result of mistakes made in haste by youthful hearts. Alana and Scott had married the wrong partners, then come back together in a somewhat unsettled arrangement. In their late twenties they had forged a family that celebrated a baby, then suffered Jan’s suicide, then attempted to foster a cohesive unit with the children of four different people. Sam and Jenny had done something similar, but their kids had been raised with only one father. Tanner had always known two mothers but not the truth until it was spilled by big mouths on the playground. Honesty was the key; Sam’s kids had been fully aware of Alvin. Scott’s children knew a little about Tim and Jan, but not enough to temper their small souls when it mattered most, as attachments were knitted together.

  Now Tanner was as fragile as Jenny had once been, but she’d had so much love and support. Tanner did too, except it wasn’t enough. Why, Jenny wondered, why weren’t they enough?

  Again, it was the times, much to clutter and cloud his mind, but not just the drugs. Tanner coveted tangible items as proof of love. Jenny had lived with Alvin in this very house not much above the poverty line. Love sufficed as money was short. Then money was plentiful, reminding them how fleeting was the moment. Every moment counted, but for Mitch, none remained.

  David seemed aware of how precious his life was; as Jenny left, he was wrapped against a shaking young woman, both in tears. At that moment he had looked like Sam when Jenny was losing his baby, so broken, also aware of the double-edged sword, one that gave, one that took. Tanner had only seen the edge that stole, never the more generous, lasting side. Jenny had realized that with Alvin, with Tommie, then with Sam. Tanner never bothered to look.

  In that apartment, one life had been lost. One had been reclaimed, one was… waiting. Tanner could go either way and Jenny sighed, feeling Sam around her. Then he was on top of her, and out of all those couples, they were the last to begin the journey.

  As Sam made love to Jenny, she wondered who would endure till the end of the ride.

  Chapter 23